My Final Thoughts

 I appreciated speaking with Antonio. We discussed some challenging topics such as feeling alienated, being on the outside, the hardships with moving from one place to another, starting over and how his family has been integral to many of the values he holds dear today. Hardwork, integrity, honestly, dedication but also qualities like keeping your head up, "run some dirt on it and walk it off", as well as what he believes he was taught about being a man today. 

Antonio states that while much of this has shaped him into the person he is, he credits education and found family and friends with changing some of those misguided concepts into better practices for his life now. For example, he said while he doesn't plan to have children, if he did, he couldn't imagine ever doing the "tough love" that was a part of his childhood. He cannot recall ever seeing his father cry and talks about hard things were sometime swept under the rug. He has challenged himself to be more open with those he loves and to hold close the concepts that mean the most to him.

While we talked about religion and explored how it was so important to his grandparents and parents, he expressed how it just isn't for him and he wondered aloud what it may have been like had they stayed in close proximity to extended family. 

In closing, I will never understand, truly, what it is like to be a cis, white, male but I feel a bit closer than I did at the beginning of this exploration.